The Beauty of Submission
I love being submissive.
This may sound a bit shocking in today’s world, but it’s the truth—being submissive makes me feel comforted, secure, safe and truly myself. But I can only be submissive to those trustworthy enough to hold accept and hold my vulnerability with love, cherishing it as the gift it truly is.
I realize the joy of submission is a lost art in today’s world—feminism has seen to that. Don’t get me wrong—I’m all in favor of women having equal legal rights with men, such as the right to vote. What I’m talking about is the current wave of toxic feminism that seems to have overtaken the world, the kind that tells women they need to strive for a high-powered career and social domination at all costs, destroying any “obstacles” in their path that might hinder their worldly achievements—including their own unborn children. I’m talking about the feminist culture that looks down on women who choose family as their vocation, disparaging their choice to stay at home, raise children, and be a helpmate to their husbands by keeping the domestic unit in order.
See the work of best-selling Catholic author and speaker, Carrie Gress, for more on toxic feminism—and its cure.
The Blessed Virgin Mary is the prototype of true femininity and the beauty of the human person—and she embodies the same virtues toxic feminism disparages—humility, submission, and surrender. Like virgin, the words humility, submission and surrender are all considered negative in much of today’s society. According to popular current thought, to be humble is to be weak. To be submissive is not only to be weak, but likely indicates someone who quietly lets others take advantage of them. To surrender is to give up, as if all hope has been lost.
Yet those misguided definitions could not be further from the truth. To be humble is to admit, in the words of St. Catherine of Siena, “I am she who is not—God is the One Who Is.” In the words of St. Paul, “What have you that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if it were not a gift?” (1 Cor. 4:7) In all humility we must admit that everything we have—indeed, everything we are—is pure gift. From the grace of life itself, to the talents we’ve been granted, even to the challenges and struggles which have urged us to mature, grow, and expand—all is a gift from God, as long as we open our hearts to His healing fragrance.
To be humble is to admit it’s not all about us. Whether “it” is the world, circumstances we encounter on a daily basis, or even our own life circumstances, “your life is not about you,” as Bishop Robert Barron so often reminds us. Given this knowledge, what is so demeaning and degrading about humility?
Message from Jesus:
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by Me.”
(John 14:6)
Humility is the vehicle that allows our God-given beauty to shine through our bodies and radiate peacefully onto others in a Christ-centered, glorious way. And remember, the opposite of humility is narcissism.
What about submission? That seems like a horrible word, indicating the giving up of everything—giving up, giving in and giving away. Yet when we submit, are we really giving up anything?
When I was in grad school for theological studies, I often submitted a variety of things—discussions, papers, exams. I willingly gave those things over, and even though I submitted them, they still belonged to me. It’s true that the things I submitted were course requirements, yet I had a goal. In order to see it to fruition, I willingly acquiesced to the requirements. In other words, I submitted to the process of submission.
Why? Was it because I was weak and stupid? No. Rather, it was because I knew what was good for me. I understood the proper order of things—and I also realized a stubborn ego would not help, but rather would get in the way. I knew I had to submit to something higher, wiser and stronger than myself.
Submission is relief. It’s freedom from the constraints of ego-induced self-exaltation. It is admitting, “no, I can’t do it all, I need the help of other human beings. I need the help of God, who brings these other human beings into my life.” Submission is freedom, not constraint. Submission is peace, balance, and yes—in essence, it fosters true equality.
Surrender is an extension of submission. Going beyond the giving of ourselves to something greater, surrender is the pure acknowledgement that “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13) To surrender is to releasefully, and in that release we find relief from anxiety, stress and fear. To surrender to another—someone who is authentically trustworthy—is to seek mutual aid and comfort. To surrender to God is to release from self-driven ego and allow the Spirit to fully enter our lives, into every nook and cranny of our beinghood. As Bishop Fulton Sheen observed in Life of Christ, “There must be an emptying of the human before there can be a filling with the Divine.”
We were all created with God-given free will; without free will we would be robotic, unable to love, unable to truly be human. The ultimate goal of free will is to willingly surrender it—to give it completely to the Divine Godhead. This surrender is best seen the life and virtue of the Blessed Mother, and shows us the way we should emulate her. When we give all to Christ, we give all to our true selves. It is then that the truth of Mary’s virtues—humility, submission, surrender—come fully alive in an ultimate act of peace and release.
Fiat. Let it be done as You have said.
When we submit to those who are trustworthy, with Mary as our guide—and when they respond in a Christ-like way—we reach the pinnacle of human freedom as God intended. When we submit to God, we become more reflective of His divine mercy and unending charity. We then become beautiful, shining from within with the light of Christ.
This was beautifully written.
Yes, indeed, I agree! When I can be humble, I can be honest with myself. When I surrender to God, I am truly free, feel free and am able to live in freedom!