“Do you want to be healed?”
(John 5:6)
Jesus asked this question of the paralytic because He knew what healing requires—readjustment and change, which often makes us squirm with discomfort. The familiar—even if it isn’t ideal or if it’s increasing our pain—often feels safer because it’s known. The unknown can seem terrifying, so we tend to avoid it—thereby intensifying our pain.
“Do you want to be healed?”
Jesus asked this of the paralytic because healing would mean a complete transformation of the man’s life. No longer would he be a beggar; after being healed, he’d have to work for his daily bread. Handouts would cease, work would begin. Life would drastically change. Was he ready?
Our Lord gives us options, and the free will to choose or reject His graces. Do we want to experience the change that comes with healing? Are we willing to face our suffering in order to transform our pain into something reborn and glorious?
Redemptive Suffering and Unnecessary Pain
Suffering is inevitable—it happens in this fallen world. Further pain, however, can be avoided because it tends to be something we add to our suffering by attempting to avoid more suffering. We employ various empty and temporary coping mechanisms in a futile effort to foster a sense of safety and control. Such coping strategies include (but certainly aren’t limited to) procrastination, playing the victim, perfectionism, avoidance by overachieving or underachieving, using substances such as alcohol or excessive social media to numb ourselves, etc. Yet these strategies don’t last, and leave us in more pain than before.
We don’t need turn to these empty devices to feel safe. They simply don’t work. There is only one source of authentic safety—our Divine Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. When we turn to Him for our safety, we become truly safe; when we seek Him as our foundation, our lives are suddenly built upon stone and not sand.
Trauma expert Dr. Peter A. Levine writes in his book In an Unspoken Voice:
“When a person is traumatized his or her beliefs become excessively narrow and restrictive. Examples of these crystallized mantras are: ‘You can’t trust people’; ‘The world is a dangerous place’; ‘I won’t ever make enough money to support myself’; or ‘I’m unlovable.’ These beliefs are often connected to primal fears and are, by and large, negative and limiting.”
These self-defeating thought patterns inadvertently increase our internal pain and cause us significantly more distress than is necessary.
There’s a difference between redemptive suffering and unnecessary pain. In one of his Sayings, St. John of the Cross poetically describes the redemptive suffering that happens when we take our anguish to Christ, present Him with the negative, rotten, or disempowering results of our unnecessary pain, and allow Him to transform them into rich, rewarding talents (Matt. 25:14-30).
“When you are burdened, you are joined to God. He is your strength, and He is with people who suffer. When there is no burden, you are just with yourself, your own weakness. It is in the difficulties which test our patience that the virtue and strength of the soul is increased and affirmed.”
(St. John of the Cross)
Fr. Iain Matthew, in his book The Impact of God: Soundings from St. John of the Cross, elaborates on this passage by stating:
“That is the God-content of pain: it has power to unlock us at the point we cannot unlock ourselves. This accounts, though, for a second conviction: that healing comes particularly in situations that take us out of our own control, in the kind of pain which is bewildering.”
St. John of the Cross was no stranger to intense suffering. In 1577 his brother monks, feeling threatened by his efforts to reform the Carmelite order, locked him in a prison in Toledo, Spain. Suffering from severe dehydration, starvation, and the general dank conditions of his imposed cell, he used his time to glorify God by composing some of his greatest works, such as the Spiritual Canticles.
St. John of the Cross used his intense suffering for the greater glory of God. Rather than allowing himself to fall into bitterness and resentment at the injustice of his situation, anger at God for allowing such a thing to happen to him, or any other negative emotion which would have greatly exacerbated his pain, he transformed his suffering into one of the greatest spiritual teachings of all time.
We need to invite God into all parts of ourselves—especially our negative ones. Only the Master Gardner, the Keeper of our vineyards, can transform our bad fruits into the richest, most rewarding wine (John 15:1, John 2:6-10).
Yet this is not intuitive to most of us. It takes skill, it requires patience, it demands practice. Even so, it can be done.
“Take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)
When we take every thought captive for Christ, we transform the negative thought distortions that are the result of being stuck in our trauma into the truths of ourselves as God created us to be. For example, rather than “I can’t trust people,” we can recognize the safe people God has placed in our lives and remind ourselves “I can use my Spirit-led intuition to learn who to trust.” We can transform “I’ll never make enough money to support myself” to “Why am I anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field (Matt. 6:28) … God will help me find what I need to survive.” Remembering our Bridegroom’s promises to us in the Song of Songs, we can transform “I’m unlovable” to “I’m lovable and I’m loved. My Divine Bridegroom sings to me, ‘You are wholly beautiful, My love, and without a blemish.’” (Song of Songs 4:7)
I realize that most of us don’t want to think about suffering. Our goal in life is to avoid bumps in the road — that’s why we surround ourselves with as many luxuries, gadgets, and technological conveniences as possible. We certainly don’t want to devote even a moment of our time to musing over such discomforting thoughts. However, “in everything God works for good with those who love Him” (Rom. 8:28)—and we must cling to that divine truth.
St. Catherine of Siena wrote eloquently on the topic of suffering and how we can positively view our situations even during the times that seem the darkest and most difficult. In one of her many letters she stated:
“In fact, we earn merit because of the suffering we endure. This means that if we don’t sit down in apathy, or let our spirit become weary and discouraged, or give up the practice of prayer, the struggle will bring us to true and perfect virtue. Why? In times of struggle we come to know ourselves and our weakness better. And we come to know God’s goodness within us better ... So you see how in times of intense struggle we become more perfect and prove ourselves in strength.”
In other words, once we’ve stopped clinging to our misery and release ourselves into God’s hands, our suffering takes on an entirely new meaning and we endure all things with patience and love, knowing that “in everything God works for good.” (Rom. 8:28)
This is a most encouraging, hope-filled message that sends light into troubled souls!!!
Wow! Jenny! Everything that I have read that is written by you stuns me with admiration for you and your God given insights! MANY THANKS FOR SHARING and keep writing! God bless!!❤️